Incurring a Productive Incursion
Posted by The Skelecogs on November 18, 2022 at 2:00 PM
Good afternoon, Toons. The Vice President’s quarterly report is in: the debut of our Sellbot Field Offices has led to a 110% uptick in productivity! However, Toon productivity has also gone up by an infuriating 314.1592653%, much to our dismay. If only you all would put your “talents” to proper use, such as helping us Cogs construct a perfectly dull future full of greed and profit. Instead, you choose to combat us, leaving costly destruction in your wake -- do any of you care about generating revenue? In order to counter your unruly, expensive antics, we will be proceeding with our annual Skelecog Mega-Invasion.
I’m sure you’re all well aware by now that this Mega-Invasion didn’t occur last year, but that was due to how busy we were with perfecting our Cog Field Offices. We don’t deviate from our routines without good reason, after all.
That being said, do you Toons have any clue how much it costs us when you send one of our Field Offices haphazardly flying back to the Sellbot Factory? The last time it happened, it crushed one of our unsuspecting Factory Foremen! Can you imagine the costs we incurred having to replace both one of our Field Offices and a Factory Foreman? Absolutely ludicrous. We’ve yet to hear the end of it from across the water cooler, I assure you.
To make matters worse, the costs run up even more every time you Toons defeat one of our Field Office Annexes. We’ve paid for replacement annexes approximately 245,784 times now -- needless to say, it has started to burn a hole in our pockets. So, to cut costs, increase productivity, and to stop the absurd amount of silliness surging in your little town, we will be shedding our suits to send out as many Skelecogs as possible.
Our Mega-Invasion is scheduled to end at 11:59 PM Toontown Time (PT) on November 20th. Until then, we intend to push Cog productivity as far as possible to make up for how much you Toons have cost us in repairs. Fight back as you may, but not even your pesky “Resistance Rangers” will stop us, nor will they be given the chance to hand out any of their “free uniforms.” We have sales to make, and Field Offices to create.
See you on the streets, Toons.