Your NEW Cog Jokes Are Online!
Posted by Doctor Googlymoogly on November 16, 2022 at 2:30 PM
Let’s tighten up the graphics there… upload some custom kerfuffle to this address… EUREKA! I’m a genius! It's almost frightening sometimes.
Good heavens – I didn’t see you there, assistants. Bonnie Bubbles just delivered the most delightful jokes to my doorstep… I didn’t think she had it in her! She’s good with a gag, but she’s not one for Cogology, yes?
So many jokes, now uploaded to the Cog Joke Databases. Such beauty in their boring-ness. Yet still, a touch of comedy in each and every one. Hopefully, some Toon out there will get a chuckle out of these next time they use a Cog Remote Control in battle...
Come to think of it, Bonnie really isn’t one for Cogology. Where did she get such a knack for writing jokes? Aha, looks like somebody forgot to wipe the original metadata from these. Whoooo is responsible… wait, don’t tell me she roped my assistants into this!? Confounds it, she did, didn’t she!?
No matter. The jokes that all of my assistants wrote are simply stunning. Why, even I couldn’t have done it better myself! Let’s just punch in some commands to the G.I.M.M.I.C.K. to get a readout of the jokes I just uploaded...
Cackling Cog Jokes
Call: Why do Cogs like beekeepers?
Response: They generate lots of buzz.
Call: How do Skelecogs answer calls?
Response: On their skele-phone!
Call: How does a Cog get a new silk suit?
Response: They update their soft-wear.
Call: Why don't Cogs work underground?
Response: They cave under pressure.
Silly Sellbot Jokes
Loopy Whiskers Rhinonerd
Call: Which Cog plays the most golf?
Response: The Factory Fore-man.
Call: Why is Mr. Hollywood so famous?
Response: Because he's a Sell-ebrity!
Call: Why did the Cold Caller move away from the North Pole?
Response: His assets were frozen.
Gyro The Spinning Croc
Call: Why did Mr. Hollywood let himself get hit by the Grand Piano?
Response: He wanted a grand finale!
Call: What's the difference between a Telemarketer and a sales pitch?
Response: The sales pitch never works.
Call: Why does no one hang around Cold Callers?
Response: They give everyone the Cold Shoulder.
Call: Why doesn't Mr. Hollywood like opera?
Response: It isn't his aria of expertise.
Call: What do you call a clumsy Cog?
Response: A Cold Faller!
Cheesy Cashbot Jokes
Call: Why was the Cashbot not invited shopping?
Response: Because he was a Tightwad.
Call: Why did the Loan Shark cancel his meeting?
Response: He needed a-loan time.
Call: Why did the Loan Shark eat lunch all alone?
Response: Because he was a loan-er.
Call: Why didn't the Cashbot have anyone to fight the Toons with?
Response: Because he was a Lone Shark.
Call: Why did the Loan Shark get fired?
Response: He chomped back to his boss.
Googlymoogly's Note: Can we give the Lone Sharks a break!? Gah, I mean Loan Sharks!
Weird Curly Megaquack
Call: Why couldn't the Tightwad get a job in the Bullion?
Response: He wasn't in mint condition.
Ludicrous Lawbot Jokes
Call: I had the displeasure of working with a Bloodsucker.
Response: It was such a draining experience.
Call: What did the Big Wig wear to court?
Response: A Law-suit.
Call: How do Bloodsuckers improve customer interaction?
Response: They try not to "B Negative".
Good Ol' Bonzo Weaseltooth
Call: What does the Chief Justice always request with dinner?
Response: A good judge mint.
Call: What is a Bloodsucker's favorite subject in Cog Nation University?
Call: Why don't Big Wigs visit Donald's Dock?
Response: Because the humidity makes his hair curl.
Call: Why do short-tempered Spin Doctors always go out of business?
Response: They don't have any patients.
Call: What should a Lawbot bring into work each morning?
Response: A law-suit and tie!
Bodacious Bossbot Jokes
Call: How do you make a deal with a Yesman?
Response: Give him an offer, he can't refuse!
Good ol' Bongo
Call: Why does everyone want to hire a Pencil Pusher to be their assistant?
Response: They make the perfect No.2.
Call: How did the Yesman take ownership of the building?
Response: In Deed.
Call: How did The Big Cheese pay for his new suit?
Response: He took out a provo-loan.
Call: Why is it hard to talk to a Micromanager?
Response: They are nothing but short with you.
Call: Why does The Big Cheese get paid more?
Response: He does a cheddar job than the rest of the Cogs!
Upload complete!! These new jokes are now rolling out Toontown-wide. Try using a Cog Remote Control... or thirty of them, to hear these jokes for yourselves. I'm sure the Cogs will love to hear it too. Toodles!
November 16, 2022 [ttr-live-v3.6.1i]
Cog Remote Control
• Added tons of new Cog Jokes thanks to YOU! Use a Damage Remote to (possibly) hear them for yourselves.
• Snuck in some additional Cog Joke response lines to really sell the disgust these bring to the Cogs. Oh, the misery.
Bugs n' Blunders
• Patched up a client crash related to Estate Groups.
• Fixed a rare district reset in Cog Buildings.
• Addressed a rare case of Toons getting stuck related to hiding the GUI.
November 14, 2022 [ttr-live-v3.6.1e]
• Added the new "Distant Chat Size" setting, which changes the size of distant nametags and chat bubbles. Check it out in the Options Menu!
Bugs n’ Blunders
• Fixed a crash caused by joining a Cog Building boarding group just as you exit its range. Get back over there and get in the elevator!
• Solved another most rare and mysterious boarding group crash. Samantha Spade herself had to track this one down.
• Fixed a crash when changing districts.
• Fixed an issue that caused some SpeedChat phrases to not work. Before you lose your voice again, the complimentary lozenges are on us!